Vampire Lemur Extinction (coming to a theater near you)

There is a huge, diverse selection of animals that live on our planet; almost every day, we discover new ones. Today, however, scientists have sad news; one of these species has gone extinct.

The Vampire Lemur, found exclusively in Guam, was a very interesting species; it was the only species of lemur to live outside of Madagascar, and was also the only blood-drinking lemur species. Unfortunately, the rare species is no more. Biologist Dr. Henry Flagellum was a specialist in this species, and had a few comments for us:

“The Vampire Lemur is unique. I mean that to the most specific degree; there was only one known ever, and I observed its habits. I feel a little lost now that the entire species is gone.”

Flagellum was later asked if he’d ever heard the phrase “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” He said he had, but we were talking about lemurs, not eggs.

Some scientists are less upset by the news, namely the ones who studied this lemur’s prey. One scientist, who requested to remain anonymous, was less than upset:

“I saw the pictures. I’m pretty sure it was a regular lemur that wanted to drink blood. Frankly, that’s really creepy and I’m glad the so-called “species” is extinct.”

The funeral service for the last Vampire Lemur will be held this Friday. Donations are allowed, but donations of blood are discouraged.

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