Tornado Bears

Usually, creatures are one thing, and weather effects are another thing entirely. They don’t really overlap very much. This week, however, Dr. Maria Turing made a very bizarre find:

“I was just flipping through the local newspaper’s National section, when I saw a headline that read “Tornado bears down on Kentucky.” It took me a few reads to comprehend this, but it still left me wondering; what on earth is a tornado bear?”

Turing claims she got the information from a newspaper, but upon contacting the newspaper involved, they said that they had never heard of such a creature. Turing was baffled; how did they publish an article on something no one has ever heard of before?

“My suspicion is that, instead of an article, it was a cleverly disguised advertisement, inviting anyone and everyone to go visit Kentucky, home of the legendary tornado bears.”

Turing describes these bears as “bear from the waist up, and cyclone from the waist down.” While there are no confirmed sightings or pictures yet, cryptozoologist Theresa Gould has a suggestion as to why:

“Tornado bears sound like the scariest things ever. People probably are avoiding Kentucky, for their own safety.”

(Author’s Note: Although I usually try to keep opinions out of my articles, I must make an exception to say that tornado bears do sound pretty scary.)

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