Geodes Full Of Rock Candy

Many fairs, amusement parks, carnivals, and other entertainment events have stands that sell geodes; small, hollow rocks, with insides lined with crystalline structures. These can be quite beautiful, with amazing patterns of crystal, but scientists have discovered a new type of geode, related to human interaction with the earth.

Farmer Lupe Lopez grows sugar cane on his farm in Puerto Rico. To promote a better crop, this year, he planted each seed with a little bit of confectioners’ sugar, in hopes that his sugar would be sweeter. Obviously, this is complete nonsense; “sweeter than sugar” is beyond the reach of the “Kindergarten Sweetness Scale,” and therefore, is an impossible rank to achieve. However, the sugar did seep into the soil, reaching a rich mine deposit.

“One day, when I was plowing, I came upon a strange, lightweight stone. I cracked it open, and inside, was rock candy. I still don’t know how it got its grape flavor, but I really hate grape.”

Up until this point, humans had mined rock candy from the earth, but were never exactly sure how it was created. Now we know; sugar seeping through the soil quickly turns to the rock candy we love. Some earth scientists are excited, and eager to see synthetic rock candies take over, so we can stop ravaging the earth; we shouldn’t have to create massive cavities to find rock candy, rock candy should cause cavities all by itself.


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