“Left” Gravity

Gravity is one of the more famous concepts of physics, and comes with its own lore; the story of Isaac Newton, being hit on the head with a falling apple. Some historians suspect that the fruit involved was actually a pineapple, causing a much more substantial trauma to Newton’s head, but those speculations belong elsewhere. In any case, gravity is well understood, and commonly known to people.

As we know, gravity is caused by atomic hormones, causing adolescent atoms to want to be closer to other atoms, and have an interest in atoms of the opposite sex/charge. Don’t worry, this is perfectly natural. So, of course, the most physically attractive atoms are also the most gravitationally attractive. This theory, while unprovable, is currently accepted as the most likely reason for gravity to occur.

Usually, gravity spreads in all directions; no matter which side of a massive object you are on, you will be attracted to it (This is evidenced by the fact that fewer than 2% of all deaths are caused by falling off of the Earth). Earlier this month, this was all changed, with an amazing statue, constructed by the famed modern artist, Pierre Ivanovsky. Ivanovsky created this sculpture for these reasons:

“I wanted this piece to reflect human existence- one half beautiful, the other half completely repulsive.”

And repulsive it was- the complete right side actually was made of such hideous atoms, it repelled everything around it, in a sort of “reverse gravity.” On the other hand, the left side was the most beautiful piece ever made, and was created out of extremely attractive particles, attracting atoms in a way that some planets are even too small to do (these atoms are extremely attractive to other atoms, due to a high number of “charm” quarks). This is astonishing- the discovery of directional gravity.

The United States Government has commissioned Ivanovsky to create many more of these statues, hoping that they can use them for science, or warfare. Officials in the military have already suggested using a combination of pull and push gravity to launch weaponry. Time will tell how that affects the gravity of the statues; as of yet, we don’t know if atoms are attracted to violence, or repulsed by it.

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